'Politics' is made up of two words. 'Poli,' which is Greek for 'many,' and 'tics,' which are bloodsucking insects." Gore Vidal
If we Americans analyzed our social problems as much as we analyze pro football, there would be no more AIDS, homeless people, or pregnant teens...
"In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican." ~H.L.Mencken
"If you're going through hell - keep going!" -- Winston Churchill
What you see is what you get, but what you don't see is what ends up getting you.
"Whenever someone says he's going to save your soul, keep a tight grip on your wallet."
"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." - Red ButtonsAdd your content here | Websters Definitions of slightly altered words which will soon be added to Webster's Dictionary:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high .
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when
you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is
sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through
the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidental ly walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half
a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Alternate Meanings for common words: a Thesaurus addendum:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much
weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
5 Negligent, adj.. Absentmindedly answering the
door when wearing only a nightgown.
6. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
7. Flatulence, n.. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
8. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
9. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
10 Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
11. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
12. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his
conversation with yiddishisms.
13. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after
death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
14. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of
boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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